My experience with medication
Let me tell you my story… in hopes that it may raise awareness around just what some medication can do to your physical and mental health.
While I have struggled with my mental health for a long time, it very quickly took a turn for the worse towards the end of January this year. As a result, I made the decision to fly to Cape Town to get admitted into a psychiatric hospital for further treatment. My girlfriend came with me, and she insisted that she would be by my side through all of it.
My dopaquel was upped from 50mg a day to 500mg in the space of 2 days when I first got admitted. I got put on copious amounts of medication that had a sedative effect and made me extremely drowsy. I became a zombie. I felt numb. I started “losing” my entire personality.
During the admission, I also had a severe adverse reaction to a drug called Ativan (a medication that falls under the benzodiazepine category), which is used to treat anxiety. It is an incredibly addictive medication and has a plethora of side effects, very similar to Xanax. I had been taking it three times daily for over a week when my physical health started deteriorating rapidly. When my girlfriend and father came to visit me the following day, they noticed that I clearly wasn’t well. My face and arms were covered in wounds, all of which got infected. The hospital staff didn’t even clean them.
My face, eyes and stomach were swollen. I had rashes on both my hips. My kidneys and stomach were constantly hurting. I was always throwing up and I spent my days unable to get up. I struggled to urinate and, as a result of this, the doctor wanted to put a catheter in. However, the nurse on duty that day refused to do so.
Even though I was still very sick, after being discharged from hospital we flew back to Johannesburg. Over the past month I have been in and out of the ER, seen multiple highly qualified doctors, had every possible test done and being bedridden at home. My girlfriend has had to take care of me, bath me, help me walk because I was so weak and dizzy, and constantly update my family and friends. I felt terrible, and I didn’t want her to feel as though she had to but she was adamant about taking care of me as best she could. She has done everything she can to help me feel more comfortable and get better, despite going through some incredibly difficult things herself. I couldn’t be more grateful for everything she has done for me. I couldn’t have gotten through this without her and I will forever be beyond grateful for this special girl.
My memory of the hospital is still a blur. There are so many things I can’t remember happening, doing or saying.
I’m still recovering but I am slowly getting there. I am seeing a new doctor, one that has helped me so much, even finding other issues with my physical health that may have had further implications on my mental health.
The reason I’ve written this is so that others can be aware of all the possible side effects before taking any medication. So that they are sure that doses aren’t upped too fast, because this can do way more harm than good. And sometimes getting a second opinion can really help too.
Going through all of this has given me the idea to promote mental health awareness and create a community in which people have a safe space to talk about their issues. This is still in the works, but I’d like to help as many people as I can. So if you’d be interested in helping please send me a DM.
“Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don’t. Believe things happen for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it”
Don’t give up just yet!!
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